my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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