My pussy is not your playground.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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