he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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