I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
