i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
