Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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