I looked at my own cervix.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
