He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
