talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
