She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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