i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
