Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
