Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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