try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
