Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
