I think my fart just growled at me.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
false alarm, still single
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
