So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
