What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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