My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
