I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize