You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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