im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
