i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
