Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Alive.
So much puke
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
