There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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