well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
