Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
