You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
