I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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