so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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