If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
