I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
