moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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