Me too!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
wow bdsm is so cute
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
