it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize