All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize