i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
