you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She's JV to your varsity
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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