I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
