is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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