You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize