mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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