I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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