yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
