y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize