sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
