So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize