oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
