38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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