I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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