butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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