We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
