I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize