Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
