i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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