How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
