He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
