He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
