This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
