My room smells like vodka and shame
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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