...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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