We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
