is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
