i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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