the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
