I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
