how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
