I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
