he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
