Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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