The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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