He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
